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Ever had one of those days where everything went great, but at the end of it you still felt like crap?

I went to a Halloween party tonight, and it was awesome. I got to hang out with some friends, wore a cool costume, and play some neat games. It was a fantastic party. So why am I so depressed now?

I dunno. I think watching all the people there having fun and hanging out, and especially watching the five or so happy couples, just really made me think about how alone I am, and how alone I've been for... well, for ever. I've never been not alone, and that just really hit me tonight.

By the end of the night I really didn't want to go home. I wanted someone to talk to, but the friend I asked to hang out decided to go home and sleep. She probably would have stayed up a while if I'd told her what was going on, but when I'm down I'm not very assertive so... yeah. Now I'm just sitting in my room writing a blog. I took a walk around campus, but that didn't really make me feel any better. It just made me feel more alone.

I don't know... I'm just tired of being alone. And I'm tired of having no one to talk to. I've got three friends I trust enough to talk to. One of them just doesn't care. One of them keeps telling me to get a therapist. And one of them just... she doesn't seem to notice when I'm trying to open up to her.

I don't know... I'm finished with this blog, I guess.

NaNoWriMo

It's that time of year again. November is coming near, and NaNoWriMo is coming up.

What is NaNoWriMo, you ask? Well, put simply, it's the crazy attempt to write fifty thousand words during the month of November, while dealing with all the craziness of life. Juggling school, a social life, and daily writing is always a challenge.

But it's so much fun, too. It really gets me back into the pure joy of writing. The excitement of watching words spread across the page, not worry whether they're any good, just happy that they're flowing.

This year I'm going for a more serious story than in previous years, but hopefully I'll still have that same fun feeling of senseless abandon that made previous years so enjoyable.

The Fall Season

Apparently in some places in this world, there are only two seasons in a year. These are very simply named: the dry season and the wet season.

Here in America, though, we've got the slightly more complicated system of four seasons. Winter, Spring, Summer, and Fall. Why we can't just have a hot season and a cold season is beyond me, but whatever. It's what I grew up with, and I kind of like it.

Winter is great. As a native of Wisconsin, I have a +5 racial bonus against cold. I love chilly weather, I revel in it! I look forward to this season every year.

Spring is fantastic. Everything smells so fresh, and all around me things are coming to life again. My spirits always soar in this season.

Summer is fun. I have no classes, and I rarely work, Summer is an entire season of relaxing and taking it easy, two of my favorite activities. How could I not love Summer?

Then we come to Fall, the current season. And Fall is great for some very special reasons.

In the Fall I return to school. Back in high school this was a terrible proposition. Everyone treated me like crap in high school. But now I'm in college, and it's great! I can't seem to get through a Fall semester without making some new friends. And I get to go to new and interesting classes, and I always love to learn new things. Unless those things are math. Math is hard!

I also get to reconnect with all of my old friends, people I haven't seen all summer. Playing games, watching movies, even just hanging out... it's all good. New friends and old friends make Fall great!

Right now I'm going through a rough spot. Things aren't looking so bright in general. Tonight I almost let that bring down my opinion of an entire season, but thankfully I was able to take a step back from temporary problems and look at how I really see the season. Hopefully I get over this rough spot soon and can get on with enjoying my Fall!

TINS is gone!

I did nothing. My technical skills just weren't up to par. At least it wasn't laziness this time.

TINS is here!

TINS Is Not Speedhack. But it's exactly the same thing. Seventy-two hours to code a game. One weekend. Rules to build your game around are released on Friday, to prevent cheating, and you have until Monday to finish.

I've got a busy weekend coming up. Class on Friday, and then going to a friends for advice on spells for my wizard. D&D Saturday, where I will use said wizard. Sunday I have church from waking until noon, and then again from five to seven when I volunteer. So basically, Friday evening and Saturday morning are the times I have to work (I'll be too distracted during my free time on Sunday, it's traditionally "Hang out with friends" time). And, because it's labor day weekend, I can stay up as late as I want on Sunday to finish things up. But if I'm doing anything other than polishing up by that point, then I'm doing it wrong. Sunday night will be the finalization of whatever I have at that point, which may not be much.

I have a bad record with these sort of competitions. I often end up doing nothing and feeling bad about it later. Perhaps this time will be different, but perhaps not. Only time will tell.

The new internet punching bag?

I dunno if anyone else has come across this, but I've seen a lot of people lately using autism as the new internet punching bag. Especially in the comments section of Notch's blog (the creator of Minecraft). Also, a few recent Cracked.com articles have presented a grossly inaccurate view of autism and asperger's.

So, are we the new group that it's cool to make fun of? That would kind of suck. And they claim we have no empathy.

/whiny rant

Rock music is evil. Really. It is!

If you don't believe me, ask the guy who wrote this anti-rock tract. Apparently rock, even Christian rock, is a long, inexorable road into Hell, with Satan literally driving you there. In a van. It must be something in the harmonics that causes demons to rise up and corrupt your otherwise innocent mind.

First things first; if one intends to denounce something on the basis of Biblical teachings, it would be a good idea to familiarize oneself with what the Bible says on the subject.

The Bible does not place restrictions of any sort on musical styles. Nowhere in the scripture does it say that any style of music is inherently evil. Of course, the message of a particular song can be evil, but that does not make the entire genre evil.

The most annoying thing about all of this is the way people argue that rock music is evil. They list a few vague and unsupported claims, and then declare rock to be evil. I get the strong impression that they just don't like rock as a personal preference (which is fine), and thus think that no one should like it (which is not fine).

I'm sorry, but I think I'll follow what the Bible says. As long as the message of a song is not promoting evil or immorality, I won't denounce a song as evil or immoral. And even if the song does promote evil and immorality, I won't say no one should ever listen to it.