Monday, October 24, 2011

I'm not dead!

I just haven't posted in forever. I need to stop that.

I won't be posting for a while yet, either. I'm using a separate blog for NaNo, and I'll probably continue to use it for other writing-based endeavors. Go here:

http://writerranting.blogspot.com/

If I make any updates in the next month, they will most likely be there.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Emergent Gameplay

I am currently very interested in the idea of emergent gameplay, and more importantly in the idea of emergent narrative. In many games, some of them very simple, I find myself creative a narrative to fit the events of the game. When I was younger I could spend hours fiddling with Conway's Game of Life, fixing story to the life and death of the little pixels on my screen.

More recently, I find myself creating emergent narrative in Minecraft, and, strangely enough, in Dawn of War's skirmish mode. I find the process entertaining, and I derive as much pleasure from the story I create with the game, as I do from the gameplay itself.

I often want to design a game with emergent narrative. Most commonly, when this desire comes upon me, the idea takes the form of a space adventure game. The player is given some limited resources, mechanisms by which to increase those resources, and a procedurally generated world to use those mechanisms in.

One of these mechanisms would be the taking on of crew. Crew would have various traits and skills, positive and negative. For example, a potential crew member might be highly valuable because of a very high medical skill. But at the same time, he may have a large drawback in being a highly wanted fugitive. Such a potential crew member would be easy to generate procedurally, and a lot of story can emerge from this character. After all, this is essentially what Simon Tam is in Firefly, and he is a very deep and complex character. Most of his motivations spring from just two traits: his status as a doctor, and his desire to protect his sister (the reason he is a fugitive).

Other story-inducing things could be generated procedurally as well. Setting would be easy, for a space-based game. It would not be that hard to generate a star, surround it with planets, and put cities on those planets. Extra details, like asteroids, habitable moons around gas giants, and so on could be added without much difficulty.

My one major concern with this idea is with giving the player something to do. I worry that, without a built-in narrative, the player may feel that there is nothing to accomplish in the game. There is no over-arching story, no main goal to complete. With a game like Minecraft this is fine, because Minecraft is all about building, creating, and surviving. A game like what I am envisioning cannot even come close to Minecraft in terms of expressing creativity.

Still, I like the idea. My mind keeps coming back to this every few months, and every time I wonder how well it could turn out. So far I have not had the time or inclination to make this game a reality, but if that changes I'm interested in how it would be received.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Oh hai thar internet.

It's been a while. A long while. You guys were supposed to nag me to keep updating!

Well... the novel thing never panned out. Last semester turned out to be a very busy one, and I barely kept up with my classes. But I got through the semester, and I managed a not terrible GPA in the process. So hooray!

Now, today's subject might be a little touchy to some people. Keep in mind that I in no way mean to be offensive, and this reflects only my personal experiences. Other individual may have entirely different experiences, and this in no way reflects on the nature of anyone except myself. With that said, here goes.

The things that I'm autistic. And being autistic... well, it can really suck sometimes.

I'm not good at social interaction. I don't understand it. All those subtle social cues, like body language and tone of voice, often go completely over my head, or I interpret them entirely wrong. And those are a huge, huge part of communication. So I miss a lot when talking to people, and because of this I tend to just not talk much. Which, I think, makes people feel like I don't like being around them.

I said I think that's how people feel. Because I don't know, no one has ever come up to me and said, "Neil, I feel like you don't want me around." Sure, I can figure out that, if person A avoids hanging out with me, then it's likely that person A doesn't like hanging out with me. But I get so many false positives that way. People who miss a regular hang out, or opt to go do something different this week... it has nothing to do with them disliking me, but I have no way to tell which people just having something else to do, and which people are avoiding me.

And even this one specific example leads to problems. There have been a couple of girls I was interested in, in the last few years, where I literally could not tell if they were sick of the sight of me, or if they were just busy.

It works the other way, too. I can't tell when someone enjoys my company. Again, I can say that if person B spends time with me, then person B likely enjoys spending time with me. But what if person B is only spending time with me because we both happen to enjoy being at a certain place? Or we have a mutual friend that one of us often tags along with? This can become extra confusing for me when I only see a person in one context (hanging with a mutual friend, going to a place we both enjoy/have to be at), and there is no opportunity to change this.

This is currently causing me problems. As I write this blog, several friends are sitting in the other room. This house is their convenient hang out spot (because my roommate owns the place) and they were hanging here regularly long before I moved in. Lately I've been feeling like they don't want me around... but I can't tell if this is because they really don't want me around, or because I'm misreading social cues.

Sure, I can just go and ask. But there are two problems with that. The first, and the lesser, problem is that it's embarrassing. Often times people look like I'm stupid for not already figuring things like this out. The second problem is that, if I just go in there and ask if something's going on, I learn nothing. They tell me that they either do want me around, or they don't, and I never figure out how to tell the difference on my own. Assuming they don't just lie and say, "Of course we want you around!" out of social politeness, which adds whole new layers of complexity that are entirely unhelpful to me.

Like I said, it kind of sucks sometimes.

I thought of an interesting analogy earlier today to illustrate how this feels. To me, trying to learn how to be social is like trying to learn advanced calculus. Except that everyone else already knows advanced calculus, and no one ever explains any of it to me, and everyone assumes that I already know it. And not knowing the right answers means I end up sitting alone in my living room, writing an angsty blog, while my friends hang out in the other room having fun together.

This situation is untenable. What happens when I have a real job, and I don't realize that my boss is upset with me over something I wasn't aware that I did? What do I do if I ever do manage to get a date, and I can't tell if she's enjoying herself or smiling because of social politeness?

Ah, social politeness, my old nemesis. I don't want to get side-tracked by it now, but remind me to do a blog on that some time.

Now, don't think of me as hopeless, I'm not. I'm high-functioning enough that I can learn all of these things. But that math analogy above was very apt. This is a skill that will take me time and effort to learn. To continue the analogy, right now I'm struggling my way through trigonometry without any guidance, and I'm still completely baffled by even the most basic calculus equations.