Blah

Ever had one of those days where everything went great, but at the end of it you still felt like crap?

I went to a Halloween party tonight, and it was awesome. I got to hang out with some friends, wore a cool costume, and play some neat games. It was a fantastic party. So why am I so depressed now?

I dunno. I think watching all the people there having fun and hanging out, and especially watching the five or so happy couples, just really made me think about how alone I am, and how alone I've been for... well, for ever. I've never been not alone, and that just really hit me tonight.

By the end of the night I really didn't want to go home. I wanted someone to talk to, but the friend I asked to hang out decided to go home and sleep. She probably would have stayed up a while if I'd told her what was going on, but when I'm down I'm not very assertive so... yeah. Now I'm just sitting in my room writing a blog. I took a walk around campus, but that didn't really make me feel any better. It just made me feel more alone.

I don't know... I'm just tired of being alone. And I'm tired of having no one to talk to. I've got three friends I trust enough to talk to. One of them just doesn't care. One of them keeps telling me to get a therapist. And one of them just... she doesn't seem to notice when I'm trying to open up to her.

I don't know... I'm finished with this blog, I guess.

NaNoWriMo

It's that time of year again. November is coming near, and NaNoWriMo is coming up.

What is NaNoWriMo, you ask? Well, put simply, it's the crazy attempt to write fifty thousand words during the month of November, while dealing with all the craziness of life. Juggling school, a social life, and daily writing is always a challenge.

But it's so much fun, too. It really gets me back into the pure joy of writing. The excitement of watching words spread across the page, not worry whether they're any good, just happy that they're flowing.

This year I'm going for a more serious story than in previous years, but hopefully I'll still have that same fun feeling of senseless abandon that made previous years so enjoyable.